Dramatis Personae

 M.H.—a currently unknown novelist, author of this blog

Julie—the wife of the novelist, a magnanimous person, the reason this blog exists

Wallclimber—the eldest son, a teen

Splash—the second born son, a tween

TBA—the agent to the novelist, an enlightened individual

TBA—the publisher of the novelist

TBA—a chorus of readers, critics, and Internet trolls

Act I

Setting: The East Coast, 2006

M.H. and Julie are handing off their children in a Burger King parking lot halfway between their workplaces. He is returning from the nearest major convention center, and she is on her way to the night shift on the copy desk of the local newspaper.

M.H.: Managing convention center operations requires such long hours and horrendous commutes. I long to be a novelist.

Julie: A worthy goal. I, too, long for something different. I have gazed into my crystal ball and have heard the death knell of newspapers. (M.H. raises a questioning eyebrow.) Perhaps I should quit and become a freelancer years before every other copy editor in the nation gets laid off.

M.H.: How irresponsible of us to consider quitting our jobs. Don’t we realize that the economy is going to crash in two years?

Julie: We can make it work.

M.H.: Are you sure?

Julie: Sure.

M.H.: Really?

Julie: Really. Sounds fun.

M.H.: If it works, we’ll look like geniuses.

Young Wallclimber and Young Splash (from inside the minivan): What are you two talking about? You’re plotting to ruin our lives, aren’t you?

M.H.: But heaven help us if it doesn’t…

(exeunt)

Act II

Setting: A Rocky Mountain state, 2011

The family is gathered around the dinner table.

M.H.: Do we look like geniuses yet?

Julie: My freelance business is thriving. Huzzah.

M.H.: Splash, are you relatively happy and well adjusted?

Splash: Pie!

M.H.: Wallclimber, are you relatively happy and well adjusted?

Wallclimber: Hunh?

M.H.: I’ll take that as a yes.

Splash: Dad, when are you going to publish a book so you can take us to Disney World like you promised?

M.H.: You see, son, the publishing world is going through a lot of turmoil, and I’ve been teaching myself the craft of…

Splash: Boring. No more excuses. Get published.

Wallclimber: We’re going to Disney World?

Act III

Opens with a blog…